That respect is becoming a lost art is a concern expressed many times inside and outside of the therapy room. It is not an unreasonable concern, especially in times of social, political or technological change. People remark on the general lack of courtesy inter personally, on the roads and across social media. It is felt there is a general lack of accountability in behaviour and an increased sense of selfishness and entitlement. The ‘other’ appears not seen and therefore not acknowledged. This view is amplified by the increased visibility of disrespect across newsfeeds and social media. Rudeness, conflict and controversy seem to get more attention than civility thus creating the impression that respect is declining.
We can perhaps understand the sense of loss more if we turn to the generational landscape. Generation X (Gen X)-typically defined as those born between 1965 and 1980- occupies a unique position in this landscape. Sandwiched between the Baby Boomers and Millennials, Gen X often serves as a cultural bridge between the traditional values of the past and the rapidly changing norms of the present. When it comes to respect, Gen X has both inherited older forms of deference and adapted to newer, more egalitarian approaches. Many Gen Xers were raised in households where respect was hierarchical. They were taught to: respect elders and authority figures automatically; unquestionally follow rules at school, at home and in institutions; avoid “answering back” and value manners, punctuality and formality. This ‘traditional’ view was shaped by their Baby Boomer parents, who often emphasized obedience and discipline as core components of respect.
As Gen X came of age in the 1980s and 1990s, society began to change. The rise of individualism challenged the idea that respect was earned solely by age or position. Rock and pop culture icons questioned authority and Gen X was heavily influenced by this cultural shift. The workplace began to embrace more casual communication styles, reducing formality and creating a less rigid sense of hierarchy. Now in their forties to sixties, many Gen Xers are parents of Gen Z and late Millennials as well as being leaders in business, education and politics. They tend to teach and expect respect in more balanced ways, often emphasizing listening to children and encouraging open dialogue; respecting differences in identity, belief and lifestyle as well as expecting mutual respect in personal and professional relationships. However, many Gen Xers also express frustration with what they see as a lack of basic respect in younger generations—especially in tone, language and deference to experience. This can create generational tension, particularly in the workplace.
So, looking at the concept of respect through the lens of Gen X, we can perhaps suggest that respect is not really disappearing but may be morphing or evolving? The definition of respect has changed since it is now considered more reciprocal and less hierarchical. It is less about obedience to authority and more about mutual dignity—valuing others regardless of status. Social Movements for the inclusion of marginalised group, demonstrate a growth in respect rather than a decline. In schools, workplaces and families, there is growing focus on empathy, communication and conflict resolution—all of which are built on respect. People are more exposed to diverse cultures, opinions and ways of life than ever before. While this sometimes sparks conflict, it also provides opportunities for respect through understanding.
The challenge now is to adapt, educate and model respect in a rapidly changing world. For Gen X, respect is both a legacy and a choice. They carry forward traditional values but have also reshaped them in response to social and cultural change. To them, respect looks like:
• Listening with intention, even if you disagree
• Treating people with dignity, regardless of their role or background
• Earning respect through character, not just demanding it by title
• Being honest, showing up, and following through
• Honouring boundaries
In a world of increasing generational diversity, Gen X has the experience and opportunity to lead the way in fostering more mutual understanding—honouring the past while helping build a more respectful future.
If you need support around respect issues in the family, workplace or socially, get in touch here.
Share this post: