The human mind and body is very complex and sophisticated in its make up. It is a source of wonder and amazement and for the most part, serves us very well. In illness, we tend to become focused on the body’s failings and shortcomings as that is what illness appears to us to be. Terrible things can happen to us in the world. Trauma can result from a single event like an accident, an attack, loss, or it can be a series of events such as physical, mental, emotional or sexual abuse and/or neglect. Trauma can be experienced collectively through racist attacks, cultural and religious conflict, environmental disaster and pandemics. Trauma is believed to be passed on through generations altering thinking, feeling and behaving in the next generation. We have within us, the capacity to experience, recover and learn from catastrophic events. We need to, in order to survive individually and as a race. However, dealing with trauma can change how our body works so that we can become overwhelmed and unable to cope as the threshold of our resources becomes exceeded. We survive the traumatic event but are left struggling with the impact of it. When trauma happens, the sense making part of the brain can be bypassed and the message goes straight to the amygdala, an area deep inside our brains in the primitive limbic system. Here, the memory is not stored in ‘story’ form but as a fragmented experience comprising of images, sounds, smells and other bodily senses. This makes it difficult sometimes for trauma victims to recall what happened or relay it through speech. Yet their body and unconscious mind remember the event(s) through flashbacks, terrors, feeling numb or void and experiencing stress-mediated physical illness. A departure from the body can occur, as it has become a dangerous place to be. You can experience dissociation as a result, losing the ability to connect with your body and inner experiences, leading to pain and depression. There may be unconscious attempts to return to the scene of the trauma by veering towards dangerous situations or re-enacting certain behaviours. Finding expression in a repetition of the same experience and striving to experience a better outcome this time, to do what we wish we could have done the first time, in order to save ourselves or others.  

 

Symptoms such as dissociation, may be triggered by recent events or perceived threats that are a reminder of historical traumatic wounds. Learning to self regulate and get the body out of the orientation, fight or flight and dissociation cycle of reflexes is an important part of the trauma therapy. With time, an understanding of the developmental, social and cultural history of a trauma victim can help to navigate the trauma story . With a carefully structured therapy approach, it is possible to overcome the impact of trauma. 

Anxiety in its ‘normal’ form is part of being human. It helps us to prepare and to perform. It becomes a problem when it persists due to fear that feels real but is not necessarily true. Anxiety in this form, is very common, with 1 in 4 adults suffering from some form of anxiety. Essentially, anxiety involves getting stuck in the normal neurological response to danger i.e. the fight, flight or freeze pathway. In threatening situations, this pathway is activated for a short length of time and is relaxed by another nervous system pathway, once the threat is removed. In anxiety, the body acts as though there is an ongoing threat, triggered by internal, external or environmental events. The pathway that responds to threat remains activated for long periods of time. Anxiety has many forms: 

 

 

The first step in therapy is to learn how to calm an acute attack of anxiety using a method that you find helpful and does not make the anxiety worse. I work cognitively to help you reset and retrain the neurological circuits to modify the perceived threat of a trigger. Together, we can then move on to explore how and why these reactions got set up in the first place with particular focus on early development and unconscious conflict. 

 

Mourning describes the intense sadness or grief that you feel when you lose someone very special to you through death but also when other losses and changes take place e.g. when your marriage, relationship or friendship ends, when you leave your homeland or home, change jobs, lose health or youth, let go of a hope or ideal etc. Death is the ultimate loss and whether expected or sudden, the finality is profound. Each loss can connect you with the pain of past losses. Your grief experience is influenced by your emotional make up and your personal life journey. Therefore, your grief is highly personal, even within the same family, and will progress at your own pace. If full mourning and letting go of a loss takes place, there is always an opportunity for growth and regeneration. 

 

If you feel very alone in your grief or are worried about the course it is taking, I offer a short term, focused therapy to help you come to terms with the loss and pain you are experiencing and how this is affecting you. 

 

 

Grief after suicide can be a different experience to regular grief. It tends to be more intense and lasts longer. When you have lost someone to suicide, there are complex emotional, social and cultural issues that can intensify the grief and make it more overwhelming and isolating. You struggle with why they chose to die and why a suicide note, if left, may not help or make sense. There is an overwhelming sense of guilt that you may not have recognised the extent of their suffering, signs of their plan or that you could not have done more to help the person you knew was suffering. It is hard not to feel judged, despite how well meaning people can be. There is a helplessness surrounding suicide. Anger may be directed at all involved in the loved one’s life whom you perceive may have been negligent, including yourself. You may feel anger towards your loved one that they made this choice, left or abandoned you and with such pain. You may fear that other family members, or yourself, will follow suit. A hard feeling to acknowledge may be the feeling of relief, that they are no longer suffering or causing constant worry. Your spiritual or religious beliefs may be challenged. It is important to talk to a counsellor or psychotherapist about what you are feeling and how it is affecting the various aspects of your life. Here at Time and Space Psychotherapy, you are in a safe, confidential, supportive and non-judgemental space where you are free to express yourself, your thoughts and feelings. Then in time, we can explore ways that can help you come to terms with what you are feeling and re frame feelings like guilt, so they are less overwhelming. When you are ready, we will work at the importance of forgiveness. 

 

 

Complicated grief happens when you cannot mourn or fully mourn a loss, when you cannot do the emotional work required to let a person go. Grief is prolonged, delayed, exaggerated or masked such that: 

 

• You don’t have any grief responses 

• You have grief responses that are excessive, distorted or never  

ending 

• Your ability to function physically and psychologically may be  

compromised 

 

Cultural influences can impact the mourning process such as the expectation and praise of stoicism, that can predispose to delayed or complicated mourning. In therapy, we aim to identify when and why the grief became complicated, unravel unconscious links and associations so that in time, you can progress through mourning. 

Sexual orientation and issues around sexual intimacy and dysfunction are topics that many people find it very difficult to talk about. You may be suffering alone with feelings of shame, frustration, low self-esteem, often becoming depressed and isolated. It is an area where cultural influences and taboos have a major impact. 

 

Here at Time and Space Psychotherapy, the safe, non-judgemental space created allows you to talk about your struggle without fear. I can help clarify the various aspects of the difficulties experienced and find out what might be contributing to them. 

Suffering from eczema, atopic dermatitis, psoriasis, urticaria, acne, effluvium? 

 

Dermatology is probably the leading medical specialty that advocates a medical and psychological approach to the treatment of skin disorders. Irrespective of the origin of the skin disorder, dermatologists acknowledge the talking therapies as part of the treatment, particularly the psychoanalytic approach which I use here at Time and Space Psychotherapy.  

The workplace has become increasingly demanding and busy not to mention the challenges of getting to and from there. It is not surprising that difficulties arise from struggling to cope with the demands and can lead to deterioration in interpersonal relationships. Despite the ready availability of detailed anti-bullying policies, bullying still seems to thrive in the workplace. It particularly thrives at difficult times such as during a recession or an organisation merger, where it can revolve around the attitude of “you are lucky to have a job.” Many organisations have invested heavily in supporting mental health and wellbeing for their staff. This is not within the capacity of all organisations and staff must seek their own help. 

 

With a long history of working within a large organisation to management level, being on the board of a number of professional bodies, working as a mediator and an employee assistance programme (EAP) counsellor, there is very little I have not come across. As a result, I can offer short term, focused, support for those experiencing difficulties in the workplace. We first deal with the personal and professional impact and then explore manageable ways you can negotiate this. I support organisations by providing competitively priced, talks, workshops and consultations on site, at agreed intervals, depending on need and budget.